Go Mysterious Haka!

My workmates are a friendly and social bunch, and although we all work very hard it is often balanced by some playing hard as well.

The impending closure of the Walthamstow Greyhound Stadium gave the East Enders in my team a chance to take us for a night out in the 'hood. Entry, a meal and two tote bets for £10 - yippee!

The Stadium is something of an institution. In it's heyday, over 5,000 people would pass under the awesome neon sign each evening:


However, changes to gambling laws mean on-track attendance is declining, plus nostalgia cannot hide the fact that dog racing is a rather rough sort of entertainment, appealing mainly to chavs and not particularly lucrative. For me, 'chav-ness' implies no disrespect, it just means I got to enjoy something I wouldn't normally do. The rest of team got into the East End spirit as well - as testifed by the empty chicken'n chip boxes, sauce packets, beers and betting slips:


Sadly, the closure of the track means many of the old-skool bookies are out of work. This guy was my favourite of the five or so still working the crowd down by the finish line. I loved watching them all chalk and re-chalk their odds whilst doing the maths superquickly in their heads. But, he does look rather miserable:


The tracksiders only take £5 stakes upwards, and I was keeping it real with 50p bets. So, instead I stayed indoors to place my bet on the first race - #3 Analyse to win. My bookie got a sour look in her eyes when I fessed up to my limp stake. But, no matter, because here's my doggie crossing the finish line in First (hurrah!):


My triumphant 28p win was somewhat overshadowed by my colleague Ivan who made £52 on a £2.50 trifecta.

Determined to be more successful, I followed Ivan's example and paid more attention to the 'form' of each dog in the programme. Of course, when it came down to it, I still pretty much chose my dog based on their name. I mean, who could refuse 'Tommy Bahama'?:


No matter the method, I didn't get the hang of it at all, and was on a four race losing streak (a whole £2) by the time my brother and his friends turned up to have their own East End Experience.

Matt et. al. are far braver than I, and delighted in placing £5 bets with the old guys down front. They bonded well with Ivan over shared abilities to understand form and make confident predictions in an alien language, and all did very well in their races. Bastards!

I was getting a tad somewhat despondent at my paltry efforts, so thought I might give it one last go before having to leave for the last Tube. Luckily, the many Kiwis and all the natural gamblers agreed that 'Mystical Haka' was the dog to beat in the next race.

I put a whole £1 in. And he won! So I made £2.20. I still think that's good, even if another colleague made £150 on a £5 trifecta punt.

All the winners crowded in for a shot that is smiles all round:


Our chav-tastic night ended on a complete high. Go Walthamstow!